August to December...where do the months go?

I need to make a full confession:  we have not done much at all in the last six months. 

Okay, I lie.  We've done a lot of hiking and leaf-watching as the seasons changed.  We spent an inordinate amount of time out-of-doors just enjoying the weather and each other's company.  We have spent long lazy hours just reading and playing computer games and discussing music and life.  We've contemplated the snuggle to happiness ratio of petting small rabbits (and big Hueys).  There have been days when we didn't bother getting out of our pajamas, 'cause we would have gotten right back into them within hours.  There were days when we only got out of our pajamas to go to VoTech or work or an appointment of some sort...and then came home to return to our previous pajama-clad state. 

In order to precipitate this state of things, I worked mornings again for Sept-Dec.  By the time I came home, I wanted nothing more than to nap and veg.  Very little actual bookwork got done--with the exception of what I left the Manlings to be done in the mornings.  I didn't check most of it.  We didn't even really have Family Reading Time or Devotions.  I did make the added effort to finish "Pilgrim's Progress" (which the Manlings all loved) by the beginning of December.  It was started in August. 

After berating myself endlessly for several weeks about things we hadn't done, I stopped.  Why?

Because I have a camera full of pictures of my sons outside, hiking in the most beautiful fall foliage, and (better still) a heart full of memories of the talks we had during those long tramps.  DH was usually sleeping for work, and we would head out when I came home from work.  Squirrels were chased up trees, deer were spooked (accidentally) from thickets as the two younger Manlings stalked each other through the brush, and we tried to be amateur ornithologists while attempting to identify birdcalls.  I practiced using the different settings in the new digital camera as we looked at flowers and dying weeds and spotted trapped logs on dam-breasts and eyed Scotch pines at Middle Creek.  

So why didn't we rush right back into schoolwork when the long lazy days of fall had ended?

I suspect we really needed a break.  It's been a hectic year, with planning the Eagle Scout project and camp and new leadership at Scouts and just all of the general chaos of the year.  Scott is now an Eagle, and I've still got the ceremony to plan.  Luke crosses over to Boy Scouts in eight weeks, and I need to get that finalized this week.  We even got burned out on reading our Bibles 'cause we did SO MUCH of it this spring. 

So we stopped. 

And it was good.  I plan to spend this week finishing up some odds and ends for the New Year, and we go back to a real schedule the first week of January.  I will be nights again, which works better and is easier on my peace of mind.  I am actually looking forward to schoolwork with the boys again.  And they are BORED with TV and the video games...which is perhaps the best part of all.  

I am looking forward to just being with the boys and not worrying about all the headaches at work.  My focus was getting far too split, and that needs to stop.  I guess this is what some SAHM moms mean when they say, even though it's tempting to get a PT job, they would rather concentrate on their Real Job.  Heaven knows, I understand that.  I've spent far too much time the last six months worrying about what is happening at work.  I'm done doing that.  We're going to finish taking care of our debt, and then I hope to quit.  OR at the very least cut back some until the boys are all grown.  

I also got updated internets now.  We are getting high speed wireless on Monday, so online time will be more productive.  Less time spent waiting for pages to load...more time using what I found.  I like this! 

Of Books, Boys, and Nothing in Particular

Another Sunday.
Another white wintery day.
We actually had a decent amount of snow last evening and into this afternoon. It's not a Wyoming Blizzard....but at least the grass is covered! Or was...until Manlings #3 & 4 scooped most of it up for their sledding ramp in the backyard. Thank goodness it's started coming down again to cover up the bare sports. Just so I can pretend we've had a snow 'storm.'

Manlings #1 & 2 came back from their Boy Scout Klondike Derby this morning, only to find me on the warpath after tearing apart the living room and their desks--only to find a whole lot more left undone than had been confessed to last week. I was NOT happy. Neither was their dad. Privileges have been revoked. A martial state has been declared, and we're going to have a long couple of weeks ahead of us trying to get back on track.

*sigh* Just when I thought things were getting better.

You know, it's not even that they didn't do the work as they said they did. It's the LYING that accompanied it. I hate it when my kids lie to me--for whatever reason. It really feels like someone has punched me square in the stomach, and I just can't get my breath. They know I'm going to be mad if they don't do their homework; but why lie about it? Lying just makes me even angrier, and they've blown my trust in them.

*feels small* Sometimes I envy parents who can send their kids off to public school. At least they can have a break from the constant presence of a child who cares so little for their parents' affection that they have no compunction about telling white-faced lies.

I just don't get it.

On the upside, the younger two both told me this morning that they feel things have gone much more smoothly now I'm home to explain things to them more. I know they're enjoying more mom/boys time.

With the older two out of the house for camp this weekend, I did get some cleaning done. My living room looks much more live-able now, and we rearranged the dining room to better accommodate our table (which really is too large for the room but that can't be helped with six people).

There was a whole fiasco this summer with my oldest sister who was using my house as her own personal storage unit the last year or so. When she finally decided she could find room in her new place, I had to literally empty of her crap out of my house in the space of a weekend. (Very hard to do when most of it had been put to use with her permission and blessing.) To be honest, I hadn't really liked having her 'stuff' cluttering up my house in the first place. You know how somethings just 'don't belong'? That pretty much sums up her items. Everything put me on edge. But getting it all out in one large sweeping clean-up meant a lot of holes and misplaced items of mine, which I haven't really had time to correct what with working so much.

This weekend I finally managed to banish the holes and start replacing things where they belonged. My tins and sewing things have reclaimed their places in my living room. My apple knicknacks have restaked their rightful places on the entertainment center. Best of all, it feels like MY house again.

And let me tell you what: DH and I have worked too long and too hard for what we have for us not to walk into this house and be able to claim it as our own. This is OUR space. It's not big, and it's not fancy...but it's OURS.